I had a brilliant idea last fall. When I swapped my car’s summer tires for the burly studded winter tires, I stored them against my kayak on the side of the house. Chuckling at my brilliance, I imagined the cushioned protection the tires would provide to my kayak as the snow piled higher and deeper. No dented-in kayak bottom for me this year! Yes, I thought, I am one smart cookie. Out-of-sight AND functional. Well done. Until this spring, that is.
I had stored the tires on north side of the house. The side that doesn’t see any sun. The side where the snow doesn’t melt until June. Oops. Facing yet another 5 hour drive to Casper in 60 degree weather with loud, inefficient studded snow tires, I decided to take action. I considered using an ice ax but wisely reconsidered when I realized that I could potentially hack the tires into a million little playground-size rubber chips. After a brief phone conversation with someone more… pragmatic than me, I finally settled on the garden hose as my tool of choice and began watering the massive snow pile.
About 10 minutes in my cotton yoga pants were soaked and my hands were red and numb. It was 65 degrees and sunny out and I was making myself miserable playing in the only snow pile in sight. I headed inside for more appropriate clothing including waterproof winter pants topped off with burly winter gloves which contrasted nicely against my pale bare arms and summery tank top. It was an altogether stunning ensemble.
Ready for action, I strategically infiltrated the snow wall at key points, sometimes setting the hose so flush with the ice that the water would wildly spray in all directions, including my face. Real progress was made when I removed the kayak, safe and sound and got a good look at the tires firmly embedded in the snowy ice wall. “Now we are getting somewhere,” I thought, and hacked away with a snow shovel at a particularly stubborn ice point. It wasn’t budging. Undaunted, I set a full tea kettle on the stove and became empowered when I kicked one tire out from the opposite side of the snow wall. It was a key moment in the battle of the snow tires vs. Michelle, and I quickly (if another 20 minutes is quickly) freed the rest with the help of the tea kettle for a peaceful, fuel-efficient drive to Casper. Maybe next year I’ll review my photo collection when storing critical spring gear. Then again, probably not.
Hilarious TV Series of the Day: Modern Family (watch it online for free on Hulu)
How-To of the Day: How to Make a Cardboard Rubber Band Gun. What are you really accomplishing at work, anyways?